My poor, poor DS

I lent my girlfriend back in Chicago my DS until spring break when she's coming out to California. It was pretty tough letting go of her, and I don't mean my girlfriend (just kidding honey....heh heh...heh). She's more than a little obsessed with Animal Crossing: Wild World, one of the most popular DS titles. Its a good game I must admit and I've clocked my fair share of hours into the living, breathing town me and my beautiful girl named "texas".

If you haven't heard of Animal Crossing: Wild World, its a game that strives to break out of genres. In reality, I would liken it to Neopets (ew), the Sims, and Viva Pinata. In other words, there isn't a specific plot to the game, instead you are rewarded for the amount of time you spend buying, selling, upgrading, and generally being a capitalist bastard. The basic premise is this: you live in a town where there are a variety of tasks to do in order to keep everyone happy, most of which will make you money to spend on cool stuff for your house. In turn, that cool stuff will get you better "HRA" points which probably...eventually...get you something?

I still don't know, but that's part of the beauty of the game. You never really quite know all the in's and out's, which is something that can be good or bad. OCD gamers might find this game frustrating for exactly that reason, but I assure you the money aspect will give you enough to worry about. A quick illustration of my point: The other day I walked into the local Texas furniture shop and saw a rare "Throne" item worth 800,000 bells. That, as many might know, is a lot of bells. I still don't have that much so unfortunately, I wasn't able to purchase it. That sucks balls because THATS A SUPER RARE ITEM AND I REALLY FUCKING NEED IT.

Any who, I don't have the patience this instant for a full review, so instead I'll type up a little something for those who've already played the game...which is basically my few suggestions for any further DS Animal Crossing titles.

1. Hot switching equipment. I shouldn't have to go into my inventory every time I need a tool. So what if the DS has a limited number of buttons, the shoulder buttons are both unused at this point and would be perfect for some hot-swapping items like the fishing pole, axe, and shovel.
2. Greater control over character appearance. I know about haircuts, so don't start with me. Basically, eye color, hair color. How hard could that be. Everything *about* the features can be changed by the initial starting question that Kapp'n asks you, but colors should be changeable.
3. On character storage should be upgradeable, even if at great cost. Two item tabs would be great, especially if you worked hard to earn it.
4. Nitpicking, but a better set of true mini games with awards would be nice. It seems to me so far that the mini games included in AC:WW have avoided needing any real skill in order to succeed at. Thats why I'm nitpicking, because I think this game is probably for kids...but fuck them I love collecting as much as those little bastards.
   

There you go, four things that stick out I'd love to see changed, which has to be a record. Most games are upwards of a baker's dozen. Otherwise the game is exactly what I feel it should be. I haven't played other versions, but some aspects of Animal Crossing, unfortunately, seem to be begging a guide book. I refuse to give in right now, but at some point I'm going to want to know how much I'm missing. This, I reckon, is unfortunate. It's nice when games drop more hints for you to figure out even the subtle nuances on your own, instead of depending on word of mouth which is essentially filtered down guidebook knowledge.

Thats all for now playas.

Viva Pinata - or how i learned to smash the cute but non profitable animal

I don't exactly know how or where to start this review. So i suppose i'll start with a synopsis of what exactly this game is about. Viva Pinata is game for the Xbox360 made by Rare ltd., the company that brought you titles like: Battletoads, Donkey Kong Country 1 2 3, Banjo Kazooie, Narc, GoldenEye, and Kameo. A very well known company that was backed by Microsoft Game studios to launch this game that was partnered with the tv-series. The TV show is on Fox Networks Saturday Morning Lineup and is about little pinata animals who live on an island and do strange things that kids are supposed to think are funny. While the TV series is absolutely ridiculous the game has a different edge to it that makes it almost forgivable that it was spawned from a terrible idea for a tv series.

Now i can't start the actual review without pointing out the main attraction of this game, and that is, it's god damn adorable. Every little creature on this island has a really clever and cute name to match their strange animal combinations in addition to their over the top character designs that make them all the more lovable.

For instance a BuzzleGum, a weird fat bumble bee that makes amazingly adorable sounds. There are so many cute things in this game that i could go on and on about but i will avoid and recommend just googling Viva Pinata under images to see for yourself. So why dont i talk about the actual game play. The interface is really simple, there are basic controls that a little kid can figure out and it has good flow except for the fact that there is no quick travel options. This game would work amazingly on the PC because they could toss a mini-map in the corner of the screen and you could hop from point A to point B without a hitch. But because it's a console you assume a ghost camera with a circular (auto locking) reticle that allows you to grab specific things in your garden.

One extremely annoying thing that i did find about that reticle, is the auto lock feature. The auto lock on is a buggy because it pulls the reticle to the nearest object in sight. This is extremely annoying when working in small places on the map that have lots of objects in them. Once again just a minor part of the interface that was annoying but hey it wouldn't be a review if i didn't nit pick. The game is a discoverable game play style that enables you to have to figure out different ways to attract pinatas by either growing different trees or having x amount of water or x amount of grass. It's a build and tear down system that forces you to constantly change your garden to maximize the total profit you can make from your pinatas. This leads me to the most hellhairyass part of the game.

MATING, that's right you get to breed these cute monsters! once you've found the cutest ones or if your a business tycoon the most profitable ones you can reproduce them and stock up on living profit. Mating the pinatas puts you through a minor labor pain of either feeding them certain produce or feeding them other pinatas. once you have fulfilled their carnal needs you can then further their lust into making them produce baby pinatas by playing a mini game that puts the male pinata (assuming there are sexes, which there aren't) in a mine field of evil bomb creatures, he has to venture through a maze where he collects coins and eventually reaches the warm embrace of his lover. Once the two pinatas have successfully connected on a spiritual level they make their way back to their home where they do a "dance" that brings them a child. Yes yes, what a twisted way of teaching children the wonders of life...

Finally the game in my opinion is extremely fun and doesn't force you to be completely loyal to it, meaning that you can pick it up and play for how ever long you feel without losing touch with it. It has an easy learning curve and can be extremely addicting. There are plenty of other features in this game that if you want to pursue i suggest you do so because it is one of the more notable titles that are out there in the next gen world. Warning there are possibilities of overdosing on cuteness use caution when around girls because of the loud high frequency awws and ohhs that you'll hear. In conclusion a great buy for anyone who enjoys fun cute games for the xbox360.

oh and here is one of the cutest things in the entire game...

called a Galagoogoo..

Hero Of The Year

Fuck Superman, Fuck Batman, Fuck all Marvel/DC/Independent Superheros cause Brock Sampson truly is unarguably the most amazing badass ever created. If you don't know who he is then you really need to watch one of the best "underground late-night" cartoons released in a very very very long time. The Venture Brothers. It's probably the most original take on poking fun at old cartoons and does so in an amazing creative sense that surpasses the others in it's genre (Harvey Birdman and SeaLab 2021). I bet there are some people who would disagree but if anyone grew up watching Johnny Quest or has an unnaturally sick sense of humor when it comes to surprisingly grotesque scenes of violence you would love this show. All of the characters are amazing in it and they all fit such ridiculous stereotypes that even they mock themselves. A lot of the voice actors from Home Movies are constantly popping up in episodes and if you are a Home Movies fan you'd appreciate this show a lot too.

The Characters are by far the most amazing part of this show, from the two sons who are dorky and learned all their education from a box, "it gets hot sometimes... in the box", to the psychotic failure of a super villain who was raised by Monarch Butterflies. This show is by far the best show on Adult Swim and anyone who can appreciate tongue in cheek humor will love it. I recommend buying the first season on dvd soon because the second season is coming out in April. OR if you are intimidated by it's holy power just go to you tube and watch a couple of clips or scenes from the show.... Let me know what you think if you haven't ever seen it!!

Lemur Lemur

For those of you who have been living under a rock for the last 5 years, there has been a very interesting phenomenon in music creation, particularly computer-based music, where not only are musicians artists in the sense that they are composing piece's of music, but now there is a new breed of custom home-brew software programming musicians who are using tools like Cycling 74's Max/MSP/Jitter to create virtually anything the imagination can think of. Being that I have been getting heavily involved in writing my own custom performance software in Max/MSP/Jitter, I am always looking for new ways to control the software I am creating...For example, I have been messing around with manipulating audio using Wii controllers.
I came across an amazing control-surface device a while back that I now need to get my hands on. It is called the Lemur and is sold by a company called JazzMutant. The Lemur is amazing in that it is a completely blank palette. And what it offers over the conventional control surfaces on the market is that its controls and interfaces are completely programmable from scratch to fit YOUR needs and it is multi-touch sensitive...What does this mean to you? You can literally play the thing with ALL the hands and feet you can get on the screen, and control custom interfaces that work seamlessly with YOUR performance and style.

How about that for cool.

Here's a video of a Lemur being used as a "step-sequencer" controlling NI Absynth and a variety of light and visual effects...

Final Fantasy Guilt

Like some movie-goers, a lot of gamers stick to one genre. Whether the genre reflects real-world interests like sports or j-pop line dancing, or whether it allows them to live out a fantasy opposite of their own boring, desk ridden lives, most gamers tend to hone in on one particular type of game and set up camp. I call these gamers "genre gnomes"...well sort of. I mean technically I didn't really have a name for them until right now, but now I do so fuck off. Anyways, genre gnomes are great, and many of us start off as genre gnomes, but what genre gnomes lack is the breadth of experience required to be a gamer-pimp. Gamer pimps do it all, and if you intend on reaching true gamer pimpdom, you have to play EVERYTHING from Rapala Bass Fishing to Hal0 2....on PC....in spanish.

I will openly admit, I'm not a gamer pimp. I play a lot of games, but I'm the first to admit my forte is the FPS and I dabble in Strategy games. Not to mention I play mainly on the PC, which is something worth writing a whole other article about (if I didn't want every jackass fanboy from both camps spitting insults like Michael Richards on a bad day). The point is, there's still a lot of games I haven't played. I missed out on everything on PS2, Gamecube, and 360 as well. That's a lot of awesome gaming I didn't do, which is a fact I don't hide. I do try to keep up on new games coming out on other systems I don't own. I think its a pretty good alternative, all though nothing beats experiencing a game for real. One series in particular has eluded me for a long time, and that's the Final Fantasy series. I played FF Tactics, 7, and 8 all on PS but aside from that have not played another title in the series all the way through. Recently Square Enix has been releasing a few titles, and of course there is still FF9-12 that I haven't even bothered looking at. To be honest, i wish I had been able to play more than 3 FF games, but I just haven't gotten around to it. Anyways, whats horrible about it is some people try and give you shit.

I mean, is it just me or do some gamers give you a little scoff when you say you only played 7 and 8? The worst is, the truly snobby ones will often times bash 7 as being "overrated" just to fuck with those whose introduction to the series was on PS1 (often simply because of the age of the gamer). Whats with that? Is it because most gamers actually suck at gaming and have to make up for skill at gaming, for the amount of gaming they do?

"Oh, you didn't buy an SNES and play the original Final Fantasy games? Oh, no, I mean...I just thought you were a gamer."

"Oh you haven't beaten Contra? Oh, I mean...thats cool...I mean I can beat it in under a minute but, whatever. Ur ....a gamer....I guess. pWn ownzers teh"



You get the same response when you say you haven't beat Contra yet. Yeah. I'll admit it, I probably won't be playing contra any time soon, not unless it comes out on Wii Virtual Console, and to be honest I might even think twice about spending Wii points on it. It's supposed to be an amazing game, but good games come out all the time and theres only so much time I have to game in the day. I have played about 3 hours total of contra, and someday I'll beat it. That will be a cool day, because contra is a good game. End of story.

The Bottom line is, there should be no guilt associated with gaming. If you buy a bunch of games and you don't beat them you shouldn't feel bad that you didn't beat them, you should feel bad you spent money on something you didn't really use. Even then, if you're really rich or like wasting money (or simply don't care) then you should just do whatever you want and not let whiny jealous bitches get in your way from doing what games were meant for. TO HAVE FUN. That's right people, don't forget that video games are a form of entertainment, just like Die Hard: With a Vengeance (which was fucking sick). There shouldn't be any guilt involved with them, whether you beat them, what games you've played, how many "classics" you've finished? That's all bullshit that people throw in to...what? Yes, that's right: overcompensate. People like that are lame, and are missing the point. I play a game all the way through when, and ONLY when I think the game is fun. If the game isn't fun, then even the awesome storyline and cool characters ARE A WASTE. If the game wasn't worth finishing to you, it doesn't have to be for some grand reason, it can be just because you didn't think it was that fun.

The last thing I'm going to say before I end this little rant is on the subject of walk throughs. I personally think that a game isn't much fun beating if you did it with a guide in your hand. Games take skill, and part of the fun of games is the challenge they bring to you. They work out your mind, your hands, and sometimes your patience but in the end you will always feel more accomplished beating a game without a guide.
Some people, particularly in the RPG crowd, seem to disagree with me. This is because, they argue, RPG's are all about the story. If you put the time in to level up, and then get stuck on some stupid puzzle and can't move on in the story then you're missing out on the most important thing: the plot of the game. This is something I strangely agree with.
Getting stuck for 3 weeks on one puzzle is DUMB. If you can't figure it out on your own, you might be an idiot, but even idiots deserve to finish good games. So go online, and fucking see how to finish the puzzle. Then keep playing, and probably beat the game. If you're lucky enough to unlock EVERYTHING in a game, without a guide, then you are really smart and I applaud you. If not, don't feel any guilt. Chances are you're stuck because you didn't notice something really minute, or the answer was right in front of you and you ignored it. I call this a brain fart, and it's no reason to throw away a game.

So there you have it, throw away your game related guilt, feel comfortable as a genre gnome, a super gamer pimp, or anything in between. Games are for fun, that's the bottom line.

Carlos Mencia is a bitch.

I've seen that show "Mind of Mencia" like, 4 or 5 times. Lemme tell you, i mostly fucking hate it. He tries too hard to be the Mexican Dave Chappelle. The thing is, Dave Chappelle is a comedic genius, while Mencia is a stupid wannabe. He takes on this obnoxious voice and just tears into mexicans without really being that funny. He, somehow, became the voice for hispanic self-critique, but get this: he's widely accused of stealing large portions of his material.


http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1742125


It has the comedian Joe Rogan bringing up 3 or 4 comedians all willing to testify that Mencia steals jokes. It's kind of one of those awkward to watch videos, but if you get all the way through its pretty interesting. This guy has stolen from a lot of talented comedians. One of which is George Fucking Lopez! George allegedly punched Mencia in the face at a comedy club after accusing him of stealing 13 minutes of his routine for an HBO special.

Well all that is just sort of funny, but probably the best part of the whole video is seeing how truly fickle the crowd was. At the beginning they were begging Joe Rogan to sit his ass down, and by the end they were booing Mencia off the stage. Too fucking funny!

Dead Rising... an answer to a horror fans dreams...

The game Dead Rising is loosely a survival horror game that takes place in a mall. You are a journalist who is equipped with a camera and a quirky perverted attitude. You are dropped off by hellicopter where you will begin to document what's happening for 3 days. On the third day the helicopter will return and pick you up. When you arrive at the mall you are completely shut out of whats going on and you have to do odd missions at different times in order to piece together whats happening. Conceptually one of the most amazing ideas for a game ever, but is it all it's hyped up to be? Well, when I first heard about Dead Rising I knew that I had to purchase a 360. Not only did I freak out about this game but I never stopped talking about it with my cousin Matt. We'd spend hours a day at the factory basically freaking out about how amazing it would be to go to the hardware store at the mall and pick up a chainsaw and plow through hundreds of zombies.

The game utilizes all the stores in a mall and combines it with endless amounts weird weapons and some novelty things to kill and humilate zombies with. Now it truly is amazing when you run amuck and kill zombies but there are a bunch of little things that they should have spent more time developing. The first major one is the AI in the npc victims that you have to save. When you go out in the mall you are called by the janitor who reports various locations that you should scout out because he saw someone on the monitors there. When you get to these people you have to escort them back to the security room. Sounds easy enough, but is it? NO! Well okay that's exagerating a bit much but. The AI is pretty bad, the characters don't respond well to just following Frank. In fact sometimes they stand dumbfoundedly in front of hundreds of zombies. They get stuck in weird places and etc etc etc. The only easy ones to rescue are the ones that you can carry on your back.

Now I could sit here and bash the AI in the npc's but I want to focus on the entire game. The game itself is really solid, it has a pretty weird storyline and you can tell it's by capcom because of it's strange awkward American stereotypes. There are fun little puzzles like finding a book on speaking Japanese in order to save two tourists and other things like hurrling a gumball machine into a crowd of zombies and watching them slip. You get to take photos which help you level up and get new mele combat moves and also build up strength, stamina, and health. All of these elements are great and honestly if you can get past that annoying AI and some of the really awkward storyline you have a really amazing game. Oh and the kicker is, in the fine print you can clearly see the disclaimer "in no way related to George A. Romero's Dawn of the Dead" haha.

Context Revolt - Spring Student Blog Assignment

As part of my 2nd semester class "Alternative Practices", the entire class has posted their own personal view of "What art is". Check them out!


http://contextrevoltspring07.blogspot.com/

V-Day

So, where the hell is the "L" in google's valentines day special title??? I saw it and at first I said to myself, "Oh that's clever." but then I noticed the fact that it says "Googe" haha... I wonder if they are aware of this... Anywho, a big Valentines day special to my girlfriend and a happy birthday to Ian Briggs Robertson!! Wooo!

Love and joy my brothers, love and joy...?


Happy Valentines From Alex and The Boons!

Fishing Games

What is the deal with new developers making extremely mediocre fishing games for all the new consoles. I was looking through a history of fishing games up to current and the scores just dramatically get worse and worse. In fact the only high ranking ones were on the Dreamcast... SO MY NEW QUESTION IS: why haven't any developers taken advantage of the 2 most optimal systems for fishing games.. The Wii and the DS. Both of them are more than qualified for a really fun fishing game, even fishing in Zelda Twighlight Princess is suposed to be really fun. Now the downfall of my question.. Are fishing games going out of style? I love fishing and when I'm not capable of going fishing all the time it would be awesome to play a good fishing game once and a while and for the Wii it would be amazing fun. So if anyone knows why every fishing game that has come out has gotten spit on and tossed away let me know..

God of War 2... why aren't you in my hands...

Okay, so for those of you who don't have a playstation2 and have been horribly deprived of the amazingness of Sony's video game God Of War, it's time for you to go out and purchase (or "borrow") a ps2 for the sequel to one of the most amazing games to caress the lens of a console disc tray ever. This games predecessor received a 9.8 by IGN.com and now the sequel has received a 9.7 prior to its launch. Not only do you singlehandedly get to take on the Gods them self but you do it in a brutal genuine 3rd person action game style. You assume the character Kratos one of the most bad ass characters in video game history. His swords are bound to his wrists at the cost of his devotion to the God of War Ares and he uses them to lash out against various Greek Mythology creatures from Hydras to Minotaurs. The game combines a very clever mini-game feature in which you complete a series of displayed buttons to act out really kick ass combos against bosses and enemies. On top of the really addicting and fun game play you get to sit back and enjoy some of the most beautiful cut sequences that are all gorgeous I would go as far to say that they are at the same level as Final Fantasy graphics. The environments in game are also expansive and detailed, and for a game that has so few load sequences you get the best graphics for in game that playstation2 has ever had. My girlfriend and I personally rank the first game easily in our top 3 games if not #1 game. If you have any interest in console gaming and you haven't touched this title, do your hands a favor and take control of the best fucking game on ps2. (sorry shadow of colossus but you don't rip monsters in half with your bare hands or stretch Minotaurs mouths open wide enough to jam your sword down their throats.) So in a great conclusion get ready for the best game on March 13th! And if I were still working at gamestop I'd hope you would've reserved it from me! haha.

Hotel Dusk = Sweetness

Well, my birthday is coming up in 2 days and Alex was a total thweetheart and went out and bought me Hotel Dusk: Room 215. Hotel Dusk is a new almost myst-style mystery game developed by Cing Inc., and published by Nintendo. After registering the game on Nintendo.com (so...close... to free magazine....subscription) I popped it in and got to play a few minutes before class. I have to admit, its looking pretty tight. The graphics are a step up for DS, with a very interesting "book style" take on what amounts to an interactive detective mystery novel. Hopefully the game will manage to keep my interest all the way through, although that's usually my biggest enemy when tackling games. I get bored. I haven't gotten too far, but I'll let you know with a full review when I'm done.

Query

what's in the box?!